Making It to the Wedding on Time
by IMSLES
Summary: A bachelor party, some mixed drinks and waking in a strange place leads one member of the wedding party at risk of being late for Jimmy's wedding. Written for NFA's A Very Palmer Wedding Challenge and as a hangman prize for McSidekick 146.


DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NCIS OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS!

A/N: Not to spoil anything for anyone who hasn't seen any of season 9, but my location for this story is being held in the D.C area (that's all I'm saying).

Making it to the Wedding on Time

Headache, cotton mouth, eyes that seemed sealed shut with cement. Oh yeah! He'd had too much to drink. He hadn't planned on it. Quite the opposite in fact. He was the appointed designated driver.

That thought jolted him upright causing the throbbing in his head to escalate. As he gently held his head between his hands, he slowly forced his eyes to open groaning against the bright light that assaulted them.

It was evident he wasn't in his own bed or any bed for that matter. He had fallen asleep or more likely passed out on a cold hard floor. His body registered its discomfort as he became more aware of his senses. No one else seemed to be nearby.

Using the nearest wall he managed to get himself onto his feet. He was even more confused about what had happened the night before when he found himself looking into a display window that protected a penguin habitat.

'How in the world did I end up at the zoo?' he wondered.

The previous day….

"Hey there McGee. Tonight's the night," Tony sang.

"The night for what?" Ziva inquired with a smirk.

"It's a man thing, Ziva. Never you mind," Tony replied.

"Oh really? Would this be the 'man thing' you are doing to celebrate Palmer's last night of bachelorhood? The one that Abby has been planning for weeks now?" she returned.

"Maybe," Tony turned away and looked at Tim. "So are you game?"

"I told you I would be there. Someone has to be the responsible one," Tim said.

"Right. Responsible. Glad it's you and not me," Tony rubbed his hands together.

"Never would mistake you for the responsible one DiNozzo," Gibbs entered applying a subtle reminder to his senior field agent's head.

"I can be responsible Boss," Tony argued. "As a matter of fact," he walked to his desk to retrieve a file, "I have my final reports all ready for you."

He handed the file to Gibbs and watched him as he looked through it.

"Good job. I should expect to see this kind of work more often from you," Gibbs tossed the file on the side of his desk.

"You're coming tonight aren't you Gibbs?" Tim asked hoping that he'd have someone to help keep Tony in line.

"Wouldn't miss it," Gibbs replied.

Thankfully no new cases were called in before it was time to leave. Abby arrived in the squad room ready to give orders.

"Okay, gentlemen here's how it's going to go. Tim and Tony go grab Jimmy from autopsy, blindfold him and cuff him and take him to the designated party place."

"Abs," Gibbs growled.

"Just kidding Gibbs," Abby winked. "But you two do need to get him to the restaurant for dinner, before we head over to the club."

"Sure thing Abby," Tim told her smiling at her enthusiasm and her relishing at being in charge. "We've gone over this a dozen times."

"Right. Now don't screw up."

Tim and Tony gave her mock salutes before grabbing their gear and going to do as she bid. She smiled proud of herself and spun around to face Gibbs.

"You will stay and have a good time tonight," she ordered.

He raised an eyebrow, but gave her a half smile. "I'll stay," he promised. He really thought he needed to make sure they didn't do too much harm to Ducky's assistant.

"Good. I'll see you there," she bounced off her pigtails bobbing off the tops her shoulders.

Gibbs picked up his phone and called Ducky. When the M. E. answered he asked, "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be," he replied not sure what he was getting himself into.

The restaurant was really just to make sure that everyone ate before having drinks at the club. She assigned Tim as designated driver because he didn't really like to drink too much anyway. She allowed him one glass of wine with his dinner.

"I got this Abs," Tim patted her shoulder.

They made their way to the club after they decked Jimmy up in a t-shirt with a tuxedo on the front which somehow Abby had gotten in the exact colors Jimmy and Breena had chosen for their wedding, a ball and chain attached to his ankle and a top hat and jacket with tails.

Gibbs and Ducky shook their heads and wondered if they really should go with the younger group to the club. It was hardly their scene, but they didn't want to hurt Abby's or Jimmy's feelings.

"We'll stay for a bit and slip out as quickly as possible," Gibbs planned with his friend.

"Sounds good," Ducky agreed.

The club was dark except for the multi flashing lights that shot out from everywhere. It was crowded and the music loud which made any conversation difficult. Abby led them serpentine-like through the crowd, across the dance floor and to a private room she managed to rent through a friend.

Once they were in the room she closed the door which dulled, but didn't completely deaden the noise outside it. The room had it's own bar, so she made her way over to get drinks for everyone knowing who liked what.

Ducky got a hot tea, which pleased him. Gibbs got a beer with a shot of bourbon. Tony got a just a beer. Jimmy got a mystery drink which he took with a bit of apprehension, but once he tasted it he smiled. She made herself a fruity drink with an umbrella and gave Tim his soda.

After an hour Gibbs and Ducky graciously thanked Abby, wished Jimmy the best, told everyone to be safe and not make too long a night of it. They all nodded and bid good night to them.

Tony looked at Tim and felt sorry for him. Poor guy had to watch everyone else drinking and not having anything good to drink. He volunteered to get the next round for everyone and slipped a bit of rum into Tim's drink. Tim took a sip, looked at the glass and at Tony who gave him a wink. Tim smiled and sipped away at his 'spiked' drink.

By the next round Abby too wanted Tim to have a little 'fun' and he'd been so gracious at accepting his role as designated driver. She figured she could always get a taxi if they needed to.

The next round she tossed in a shot of Jack into Tim's soda. She couldn't overdo it, because if it tasted too strong he'd never drink it. She also brought out some snacks that would help hide the flavor if he ate while he was drinking. Still Tim wasn't completely unaware, but couldn't figure why Abby would taint his drink.

Jimmy insisted on getting the next round, by now all the partygoers were feeling pretty carefree. He knew Tim was making a sacrifice for them all so he decided to make him a special drink to say thanks. Not sure what Tim would like he poured small bits of different bottles, whiskey, vodka, rum, and tequila with a generous amount of soda to hide it all in.

Tim took a drink and almost choked, but gave Jimmy a smile and a nod. It was then Tony decided a chug contest would be a lot of fun, so they all raised their glasses. Tim swallowed and clicked glasses in cheers before downing the loaded liquid that burned his throat and made his eyes water. The room spun and he pulled at his collar as the temperature in the room seemed to rise to about a hundred and ten degrees.

They all laughed when they fell to the floor. "I think Timmy won't be driving us anywhere tonight," Abby pointed at him rolling on the floor clearly inebriated.

"Good," Tony said. "He needed to loosen up some. I'll make to get us a cab to take us home." He took out his cell and soon was asking for a car to pick them up at 2AM.

When he hung up he informed them all that there would be two cabs, because no one driver wanted to take four drunken riders home. "I'll ride with McTipsy," Tony volunteered.

"Sounds like a plan," Jimmy nodded. "I'll ride with my best man/woman." He flung his arm around Abby's shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

"Okay Jimmy," Abby worried that maybe he'd had a bit too much, so made sure his last drinks were non-alcoholic. Breen would be none to happy if her groom was too hung-over to enjoy the honeymoon. Let alone what her father would do to the groom. Abby shuddered at that thought.

Seeing as his duties were no longer being assigned to him, Tim made his next drink with a generous amount of gin. It was one of his favorites and he had no idea what else he'd been ingesting.

Sooner than they liked the cabs had arrived and they piled into them. Abby informed the driver of their destinations and gave the two agents a wave.

Tim was dropped into the back of the cab where he fell over the whole seat. Tony folded his legs as best he could and closed the door taking a seat next to the driver.  
"I'm okay, but he's wasted," Tony pointed his thumb back Tim. He gave the driver his address. When he was getting out at home he told the driver to take Tim home, but gave him the address to the zoo.

The driver shrugged when they reached the gates, but helped Tim get out of the backseat.

"Where am I?" Tim asked looking down at the shorter man. "Who are you?"

"I am the taxi driver," he answered with a bit of a foreign accent. "You are home, yes?" he pointed at the entrance.

Tim smiled. He always liked the zoo. "Yes," he nodded and pushed himself off the man and made his way to the gate. Of course it was locked, but he took out his lock-pick, that he learned to carry with him having learned the best way to enter a locked door from his boss.

He wandered around until he came to the penguin habitat and entered to watch the black and white birds that were mostly sleeping themselves. A few were moving about and Tim thought a couple resembled his co-workers. He imagined the wedding party as empire penguins and soon closed his eyes dreamily falling to the floor.

Back to present….

Abby stormed through the doors and found Tim holding his head leaning against the display window.

"There you are," she scolded. "I've been searching everywhere for you. Come on," she tugged at his arm.

"Abby?" Tim gently shook his head and instantly regretted it as the pain ignited behind his eyes and spread throughout his brain.

"Yes, now let's go. I have your tux so you can change on the way," she pulled him along the few visitors that arrived early at the zoo watching, but not knowing what to think.

"How… Why… Ugh," Tim couldn't form a single thought.

"I knew you were here, because your partner thought it would be a fun prank to send you here. In his defense he honestly thought the driver would never leave you here. Still I'll deal with him later," she explained her presence to him.

"Now the wedding is in half an hour and we have a 20 minute drive, so let's boogie," she ordered. She had hung a sheet between the front and back seats, not wanting any arguments from him about changing while she drove.

"I really need to shower and brush my teeth," Tim moaned.

"That'll have to wait, the shower at least. I can probably get something so you can take care of your dental hygiene."

"I appreciate that," Tim struggled to get himself into the tux, but managed before they reached the chapel.

"You decent," Abby teased as she opened the door.

"Thankfully," Tim blushed slightly.

"Then let's go," she gave him a hand to help him out and a comb to work on his hair. "You go with the rest of the groomsmen and I'll see what I can do about a toothbrush and toothpaste. There's a drug store not too far away."

He nodded, "Thanks, Abs," as he pushed through the doors and was grateful for the coolness inside. It was going to be a long wedding.

Abby arrived with a travel-sized tube of toothpaste and toothbrush, along with some sani-wipes and deodorant. She tossed him a small bottle of pills, as well.

"Thanks, Abs," Tim gratefully took the items and headed for the small bathroom to take care of his needs as best as he could. He only hoped the pills would take care of the headache fast.

Tony tried to hide behind Jimmy seeing the goth turn her narrowing eyes in his direction. "I really should throttle you Tony. I won't ruin Jimmy's day though."

Tony straightened up and pulled down on the coat of his tux and twisted his neck.

"You're not off the hook though," Abby would let him worry about the consequences for awhile.

"Come on Abby. It was just a joke," Tony gave a short laugh.

"Not laughing," Abby glared at him, before turning back to Jimmy and helping him with his tie with a smile. He really did look handsome in his mint green and pink tux. She was sure Breena would look stunning, too.

Tim emerged feeling better and looking less disheveled. "Good," Abby smoothed his jacket sleeves and pulled out the shoulders before patting them down. "I think we're ready to do this."

Jimmy beamed. He'd been looking forward to this day for a long time. "Let's go," he opened the door for them to lead the way.

The wedding was indeed a beautiful event. Despite the headache that lingered Tim could feel it easing and hoped that by the reception it would be history.

They posed for pictures in the chapel, at a park nearby and Breena suggested some shots at the zoo. Tim groaned inwardly, but kept his pain to himself.

"I have an idea," Tony shared. "Why don't we pose with the penguins? I mean, even though we're wearing different shaded tuxes, we still sort of look like them."

Abby grabbed Tim who looked ready to bolt. "He doesn't know that's where you were. I promise," she whispered to him. He nodded and followed the rest inside.

All the penguins were awake and waddling about or swimming. They stood in front of the window and the photographer took a few shots doing his best to assure the glare of the flash wouldn't ruin the images.

They decided to move on to the monkeys. Before leaving with the rest Tim turned and smiled at the penguins. He'd certainly never forget Jimmy's bachelor party night. Abby was waiting at the door urging him to hurry waving her hand at him.

'Jimmy made a great choice in Abby as his best woman,' Tim thought, 'I never would've made it to the wedding on time if not for her.'

When he got close enough she hooked her arm in his and escorted him the rest of the day not wanting to lose him again.

They finished with the pictures and made it to the reception ahead of the guests. They all sat down to relax and rest their feet from all the walking.

"Want a drink?" Tony hesitantly asked Tim.

"Water would be good. Thanks," Tim answered before adding, "And ONLY water, please."

"Got it," Tony smiled knowing that Tim was already on his way to forgiving him. Now if only Abby could let it go.

They all enjoyed the food and dancing throughout the rest of the night. Breena and Jimmy made a handsome couple and looked graceful on the dance floor during their bridal dance.

"Who knew the autopsy gremlin was so light on his feet?" Tony mused.

They saw the couple off as they departed to catch their flight for their honeymoon. Breena's dad shook Jimmy's hand, "Take care of her," he ordered and pulled his daughter in for a hug.

"Love you, too, Daddy," she whispered as she kissed his cheek.

The couple waved as they got into the limo. Everyone waved back and watched as it pulled away tin cans clinging behind from the bumper. All heads turned toward Tony.

"What?" he asked. "It's a tradition, isn't it?"

They laughed and shook their heads turning to leave him watching the limo disappear down the road.

The wedding party stayed until all the guests had left and they tiredly made their way home. Abby gave Tim a ride to pick up his car at the club.

"Thanks, Abs," he gave her a hug. "I'm not sure how it all happened, but I appreciate you coming for me and helping me pull myself together."

"Well, it seems we all played a part in your drunken state. Apparently we all spiked a drink of yours last night," she confessed. Tim nodded not getting upset, after all it was past. "Aside from that I wouldn't let anything ruin the wedding. That was my job," she said proudly.

"You did great Abs. I'm sure Jimmy and Breena are very happy," he said good night and walked to his car.

She watched until he pulled out of his parking spot and followed him out into the street turning in the direction of Tony's apartment. She still had one last thing to take care of.

Reaching Tony's place she saw his windows were dark. 'Perfect,' she thought reaching into her backseat to retrieve the items she'd stored there. It was easy enough for her to set everything up without waking him. She smiled with satisfaction as she made sure his door locked behind her.

Tony woke in the morning, stretching as he walked to his bathroom. The past two nights had been late ones and his body wasn't use to all the dancing he'd done. He paused at the bathroom door as something in the living room caught his eye. He tilted his head as he walked back and starting laughing. First just a short burst and then he was bending over with true laughter.

His furniture was covered with white sheets and all over them different sizes and species of penguins were displayed in various positions: sleeping, sliding, standing and on the floor a 'pool' of blue sheet held some that appeared to be swimming. Now he knew where Tim had spent the night and he had to hand it to Abby, she did a fine job recreating the habitat.

He returned to the bathroom making sure to remind himself to call and see how Tim was doing. He'd make up for the prank he pulled somehow. After all he was his Probie.


End file.
